eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize