I am puke
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
