I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize