Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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