he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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