This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
