Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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