We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
