Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
