Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
