I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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