I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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