going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
