worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
