My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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