Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
