Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
