i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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