Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
we're so committed to being not committed
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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