tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
