you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
