She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
