Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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