i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
