All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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