He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
