Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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