you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
