I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
