dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
