I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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