Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
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