Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
did you just send me my own nude
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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