People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
