last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
