The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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