the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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