Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
