Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
