so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
