Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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