Me too!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
