I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
