Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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