okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
