he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize