Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize