That's intense
i was born a porn star she said
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize