In America we eat man semen.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize