well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
someone owes me an orgasm
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
