Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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