it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
