So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
