Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
