i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
