My room smells like vodka and shame
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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