I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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