you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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