Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize