I am full of burrito and curiosity
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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