hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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