She's JV to your varsity
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
