3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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