i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
tell me about the fingering
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
