Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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